This article applies Birkenbihl’s principles of conscious awareness and clear decision-making to the management of a direct, physical conflict situation.
The moment of pause in conflict escalation
In a confrontation, the brain tends to fall back on old, practiced patterns (flight, fight, or freeze). This is precisely where the opportunity for self-leadership lies.
Stop overthinking: In stressful situations, we tend to “overthink” – mentally falling into fear or self-doubt. This “overthinking” is the repetition of old, negative thought patterns. Birkenbihl advised to consciously observe these patterns and pause.
The freedom to choose: When an opponent provokes you, old programs scream inside you (“That makes me angry!”, “I can’t run away now!”). The moment you pause and ask yourself, “Do I really have to react this way?” is the first step toward self-leadership. You realize: I am not the thought, I am the one who notices it.
The Nug Mui strategy: Selective perception in combat
Nug Mui teaches you to use your opponent’s energy and control your own reactions. This is the practical application of Birkenbihl’s selective perception.
Focus on the gap: If you believe the world is full of threats, you only see danger and hardship. However, if you train yourself to believe that the world is full of opportunities for development, you will not look for fear, but for your opponent’s gap.
Consciously choose your reaction: When things escalate, it’s not about fighting “perfectly” (emotional maturity does not mean being perfect), but about remaining conscious.
Your opponent reacts out of pain: When someone attacks you, their behavior says more about them than it does about you.
You react with clarity: Your reaction is no longer driven by anger or fear, but by a clear decision anchored in training. You are the leader.
Conclusion: Nug Mui enables you to move from passive reaction to clear decision-making in confrontation. The fight is then not an expression of pain, but a consequence of your guided, conscious choice to defend yourself.